Besides Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve is when you feel the sting of loneliness at its worse. Another day to remember you are single once again. Therefore, you need support with how to cope with anxiety about being single.
You’re not getting any younger with each day ticking by. And it doesn’t help that almost all your friends are married or getting married, and the constant scrolling continues to show someone else getting engaged.
You constantly worry if you will ever find someone to marry. You can’t help thinking that something might be wrong with you.
I recently listened to a podcast titled: Is singleness a Gift or a Problem? by Elizabeth Elliot. It has prompted me to write this blog. I wanted to give hope and encouragement that only the word of God can give in a season of singleness and longing for a spouse.
I will discuss how you can cope with anxiety about being single during the New Year’s.
How to Cope with Anxiety about being Single
Cope with Anxiety about being Single with Radical Acceptance
There is power in the acceptance of the things we cannot control. Radical acceptance is a skill derived from Dialectical Behavior Therapy and is a skill I often utilize with my clients.
Radical acceptance is about accepting your life as it is in the moment. Therefore, in the context of this blog, it would be finding acceptance in your singleness.
Now, radical acceptance is not approval or giving in. It is about not fighting what you have no control over. Reflect on situations when you have refused to accept the reality of what is. Maybe it is being single. What emotions and impact does this result bring about?
It probably brings sadness, anger, frustration, and possibly isolation. Accepting what we do not like or want reduces suffering. Therefore, increasing a sense of freedom.
Be in God’s will
You probably have been told that you will find someone one day when you least expect it, that you will find a spouse eventually, a million times.
The truth is, you may or may not get married. I cannot assure you that you will be married one day; I am not God.
God is in control of whether or not you get married. He could call you to a life of singleness. I am sure this is hard to hear; I get it. Married or not, we all have been and will be in a place of longing for something we want desperately.
As Christians, we are supposed to die to ourselves and give our lives to Christ. Therefore, we put away our desires and seek the will of God, even when it is not what we want.
“And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” Luke 9:23
“The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9.
Do you trust God? He is the one who created you. God knows you inside and out. He has a purpose for your life every day and every moment, single or not.
Free yourself from the battle within, give your life to Christ, trust His plans, and seek His will. His will is loving and secure.
Find Purpose in Your Singleness
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:34
Tomorrow does not belong to you; It belongs to the Lord. While dwelling in your singleness, you miss out on what God has for you today. God is allowing your singleness for a purpose. Therefore, you do not need to be down on yourself, thinking you are single because something is wrong with you.
You are single because you are single. And this is what the Lord has allowed for today.
Seek His purpose in it. Come to Him and ask- Lord, what do you need of me in this season?
Being in God’s will and seeking His purpose in your life can be found and revealed through the word of God and prayer.
Be in Fervent Prayer
Are you spending quality time with God? How much time do you spend in His word and praying? Be honest here.
Pray. Pray to the Lord your pain in singleness and longing for a spouse. God hears you. Draw near to God, and He will be there.
There is nothing wrong with praying for our desires. However, we are to pray for the will of God over our lives. Seek His wisdom. Pray that He will reveal to you His purpose for this season of singleness.
“This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” 1 John 5:14
Stop comparing yourself to others to Cope with Anxiety about being Single
It is easy to get caught up in comparison, especially in today’s social media world. It can feel like you’re missing out and that you’ve failed somehow because you’re single.
You shall not covet is one of the ten commandments. There is a reason God has given us commandments and rules to live by. It is not to harm us, it is to bless us.
Desiring what is not ours causes strife, jealousy, and anger. Having these feelings dwell in our hearts and soul is disastrous, and leads us to misery. Therefore, find contentment with your life and in being single.
“But godliness with contentment is great gain.” 1 Timothy 6:6
“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13
“The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.” Psalm 16:5
Contentment can be achieved in all circumstances because you have a heavenly Father who loves you. He is allowing singleness in your life for a purpose. He never allows something unless He knows it will be for your good.
Make New Year’s Fun.
Anchor yourself to the truths above. You can still acknowledge the pain of singleness while being anchored to the joy God’s promises bring.
Think about what you would like to do on New Year’s eve. Maybe you rather have a quiet night alone, eating your favorite meal and watching a movie. Either way, find what will uplift your soul and bring enjoyment.
Lastly, do not worry about what people think. Your life belongs to the Lord, and there is peace when living in obedience to Him.
So, next time when someone asks you if you are seeing anyone; you can confidently answer no. You do not have to carry shame or anxiety about being single.
Enjoy this season of singleness and all it brings, because you never know when God will call you to marry.
Anxiety Treatment in Denver, Colorado.
Do you have anxiety about being close to someone? Therefore, you stay away from the dating scene, though you long to find someone?
Does your anxiety sabotage relationships you start because of worry and self-doubt?
If anxiety is a battle in your life and negatively impacts your ability to be in romantic relationships, I can help.
Hi, my name is Amanda Conroy; I specialize in anxiety treatment and trauma therapy in Denver, CO and work from a Christian perspective.
I exclusively offer online therapy in Denver and throughout Colorado.
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